In my role as massage therapist & trainer, after asking the question, “Why are you here?” or “What do you want?” all of you at some point have responded with “I want to feel good about myself” or “I want to feel better”. The problem however, is what does this mean? What do the words good and better mean?
There are 34 definitions for good in the Collins Concise Dictionary and 17 for the word better (and that isn’t counting the sub definitions!).

GOOD:

1. having admirable, pleasing, superior or positive qualities; not negative, bad or mediocre
2. morally excellent or admirable; virtuous, righteous
3. suitable or efficient for a purpose
4. beneficial or advantageous
5. not ruined or decayed
6. kindly or generous
7. valid or genuine
8. and the list goes on…

BETTER:

1. the comparative of good
2. more excellent than others
3. more suitable, advantageous, attractive etc.
4. improved or fully recovered in health
5. …etc.

The problem that seems to rear its head, here is that most of the above definitions (and many of those that I haven’t mentioned) rely on comparing oneself to something or someone else, or on being greater than or more than something or someone else. If, therefore, we base our expectations of feeling good, or better on external factors, how can we ever be happy with ourselves?
When setting goals and targets, be they physical, educational, social, emotional, relationship or business achievements, perhaps we need to return to why we are doing what we’re doing, why we need to feel better or good and why we don’t already feel that way.

It came as a nasty shock last week when I realised that I have, to a degree, lost sight of why I exercise the way that I do. My original reason for training so hard was to feel good, to feel strong, healthy and better about myself. To get through a tough session was an achievement and I would always feel satisfied that I was putting myself to good use.
After a minor injury three months ago, which is still hanging around, I have found that my enjoyment, need and reason for exercising so intensively has altered and it strikes me now that what once made me happy and feel good, has changed. What also strikes me is that the terms good and better are very commonly used to answer the question of “why do we do the things we do?”.
There are 34 definitions for good in the Collins Concise Dictionary and 17 for the word better (and that isn’t counting the sub definitions!) and most of them involve comparing – comparing oneself, comparing one’s abilities, comparing one’s position, social standing, financial health, physical capacity, appearance, manner, personality – to everything and everyone around us. It also involves comparing what we are capable of now, to what we could do 5, 10, 15 years ago.
Which means that, when things stop feeling good and we no longer feel better about what we do and why we do it, we feel that we rank terribly low on this scale of “comparisons”. So, what happens next?
Personally, I have decided to take a step back, hoping that will allow me to find new enjoyment and pleasure in what I do. I do not look to return to what I had, but rather hope to simply move on, learn more and find even greater things to get excited about. Personal trainers, therapists – counselors and massage! – and health professionals of all types exist for that reason. We help you find your enjoyment in your Self and therefore hope to really and truly get you feeling not just good, but great!
So, what will it take to get you feeling really good and better about yourself?